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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I take a break, grab a sandwich from the deli down the street. Best salami in town, no joke. I sit outside, watchin’ the parade, and I’m thinkin’, “This is life, man.” But then, I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some dude just knocked over a whole cart of gelato! I’m like, “Noooo! Not the gelato!” People are diving in, scoopin’ it up like it’s the last ice cream on Earth.

Este nuevo y bonito café en Buenos Aires te volverá adicto al tostado